"More Than A Woman"

Music means a lot to me. It keeps me connected to memories of my dad, he was such a great musician and lover of music.  Last night, we took the kids out to a restaurant that is located across the street from one of our old apartments.  We ate outside and enjoyed the eclectic mix of old tunes playing.  When the Bee Gees' "More Than A Woman" came on, it was as if I got my marching orders from dad to get this blog post done.

During the summer of '79, my mom couldn't keep up with washing my favorite iron-on, Bee Gees t-shirt.  I loved the Bee Gees - dancing to their songs is just pure fun.  Recently, Barry Gibb has been in the media talking about being the only living brother, touring alone for the first time, and dealing with the roller coaster of emotions that all of that brings.  I can certainly relate to those peaks and valleys; I have so much love and support surrounding me, but I can still feel alone, lonely in my struggle.

Right now, I'm losing my hair rapidly.  I will probably be bald by Labor Day.  I try to remain positive, especially for Jack and Anna.  I remind them, and myself, that all of this is not permanent and we can have fun trying on different hats and wigs.  This is really hard to do when you are confronted with commercials that have celebrities talking about the latest advances in hair color or how shampoo technology has improved to make your hair as strong as rope.  I never thought that I would hate going through the hair care aisles in CVS so much!

My hair loss is another example of something I can't control and of course, that royally sucks.  I feel less like myself, less like a woman, less like the girl Steve fell in love with (I know that my long, brown, curly hair must have had something to do with it).  Of course, the irony is, like many people, I often hate my hair!  I have had a lifetime of struggles with my thick, curly hair, so perhaps I should take this as a gift of starting over. I've been told that my hair may come back different -- so stay tuned for that one.  In the meantime, I'll try to keep reminding myself that these changes, these struggles make me more, not less of a woman and if all else fails, I'll cue up Saturday Night Fever...