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My mom will be quick to tell you that she's my primary caregiver (Steve accepted this back in the 90s). She has pretty much dictated my after-chemo rest schedule. I had chemo right before Labor Day weekend and then went to my mom's house, alone, at her request. I think my mom wanted me all to herself, back at my childhood home, so that she could see and feel like things were progressing, that everything will be o.k.
My treatment is going well right now, but, I do sometimes think about the what ifs and future not-so-good scenarios (I think all my loved ones do). It's hard not to worry, but if there's one thing I've learned from my mom, I can't let worry control me. I can't let anything control me, not even the cancer and the really crappy party favors it brings with it: nausea, headaches, constipation to diarrhea back to constipation, and pain in places I didn't even know existed.
I'm glad I spent Labor Day weekend with my mom. It gave me time to truly rest, but I was also able to hear some family stories I hadn't heard before and revisit a box of old souvenirs and mementos; it was an unexpected gift, a little bit of therapy.
There I sat, in the living room, looking at my father's beautiful handwriting on a 1982 Webster's pocket dictionary he gave me for Valentine's day, reading a note about fried chicken from my Southern Belle Aunt Sally, and laughing hysterically at my 1989 journal and programs from REM and Paul McCartney concerts. Boy, my mom was so sneaky. She knew that appreciating my past would help me deal with my present.
My mom is a very strong, independent, positive woman, but honestly, it's shocking how positive she is considering all she's witnessed in her lifetime. The impact of The Great Depression and World War II, mental illness, gun violence, and suicides have all been at my mom's doorstep. She has every reason to be bitter, negative, raw, but, she isn't.
Even when it seems impossible to do, I watch my mom face each day with conviction, faith, and hope. I wake up every day and try to do the same - I try, I fail at times, and I try again. As mothers ourselves, my sister and I are blessed to have Sara Ann Goodman Bounds as our mother, teacher, and role model. Of course, it took us a little while to figure that out! But that, as James Taylor says so well, is the Secret O' Life.
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.
Any fool can do it, there ain't nothing to it.
Nobody knows how we got to the top of the hill.
But since we're on our way down, we might as well enjoy the ride.
The secret of love is in opening up your heart.
It's okay to feel afraid, but don't let that stand in your way.
Cause anyone knows that love is the only road.
And since we're only here for a while, might as well show some style. Give us a smile.
Isn't it a lovely ride? Sliding down, gliding down,
try not to try too hard, it's just a lovely ride.
Now the thing about time is that isn't really real.
It's just your point of view, how does it feel for you?
Einstein said he could never understand it all.
Planets spinning through space, the smile upon your face, welcome to the human race.
Some kind of lovely ride. I'll be sliding down, I'll be gliding down.
Try not to try too hard, it's just a lovely ride.
Isn't it a lovely ride? Sliding down, gliding down,
try not to try too hard, it's just a lovely ride.
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.
