Making Lemonade

A close family friend sent me a card that read, "Sometimes, when life hands you lemons, you don't feel like making lemonade."  This card is now sitting prominently among other cards that have, shall we say, more inspiring, positive messages because I need to be reminded that it's o.k. to not be o.k. with this whole cancer thing. I don't have to be positive all the time and sometimes, the lemons come when you least expect them.

As we continue to figure out our new normal, my mom comes to help on the days I have doctor's appointments. My main appointment this week was focused on blood work to make sure my system was handling the chemo and Herceptin so that we could move forward with an every 3 week chemo schedule. This was to be a quick appointment at 10:45am, so I decided it would be a good time to introduce Jack to the oncology center (Anna has dropped me off with Steve before).  The office was beyond busy and I didn't get called in until 11:45am.  My anxiety was high as I was just waiting for my kids to start running laps in the center.  But, my mother, God Bless Her, had Jack and Anna entertained, fed, and content during the visit. She has that Mary Poppins' bag where things just keep coming out of it that are simply magical to children.

So, feeling good about passing my blood work test (next chemo is August 7) and that the kids were comfortable during the office visit, I say let's go to lunch (yummy Strawberry Lemonade was consumed) and do a little shopping.  The kids' good behavior continues and my mom and I set our sights on some back-to-school shopping.  We found a Famous Footwear with a Kohl's next door.  Just as I walked into the shoe store, I clumsily bumped into a display, within minutes, I was pretty dizzy sitting on the floor telling my mom to grab the Hello Kitty shoes in a "there's no time, save yourself" kind of fashion.  My body went into complete fight or flight mode and I grabbed Jack, ran out and headed to the Kohl's restrooms...running...in flip-flops...with a 6-year-old boy asking me if I'm going to make it.

The movie Bridesmaids has an epic scene where the entire bridal party gets food poisoning while at the bridal gown salon; in that moment at Kohl's, I'm Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig, and Melissa McCarthy all rolled into one.  What had been a fun, calm 3 hours turned into a panic-filled literal crap-fest.  Of course, Jack didn't really understand what was happening to me and of course, he wanted his Granny because she could get him out of that bathroom!  All I could say to Jack was, "I'm sorry and it will be o.k." while all I could think was, "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME!?!" along with my sailor-special expletives.

My mother occupied the kids in the toy section while I collected myself so that hopefully we could make our way home.  Walking to the car, it was like an immediate flash, Jack started to misbehave and not listen to instructions.  It doesn't take too long for Anna to follow suit.  Lemons everywhere.

We didn't make it home.  I got to check out the nice, clean bathrooms in the new Sheetz Convenience Gas Mart. Great. This leads my mom to suggest that perhaps I should map out all the clean restrooms in Fredericksburg.

Lemonade everywhere.