I've had surgery 10 times - luckily 2 of those times gave us the gifts of Jack and Anna. Today, I've scheduled surgery #11 - I have an osteoma on my hairline that needs to be removed. I am profoundly grateful to be alive and by writing my journey, I certainly don't minimize the much tougher roads that others have traveled.
My very first surgery was in the summer of 1990 - I had my jaw reconstructed because I had classically mis-aligned teeth and a serious under bite. I was the kid with braces, retainers, palate expanders - the works. It was pretty awful at times. My orthodontist and oral surgeons patiently measured my bone growth for roughly 6 months to ensure that they would effectively treat my issues. My jaw was wired shut for about 6 weeks and I lived on TCBY yogurt shakes and tomato soup. My mom was by my side at all times -- she carried wire cutters in her purse! The surgery was a success and I think for the first time in my life I was starting to build some self-esteem and confidence.
Right before my jaw surgery, I found out that all 4 of my wisdom teeth were impacted. Some headaches and migraines had started to interfere with my final year in college, so it was suggested that the wisdom teeth be removed. The surgery occurred in the fall of 1995, about a week before my first "real" job started. My co-workers at Marymount University couldn't believe I was starting my job so soon after the surgery, but I assured them this was nothing for me. Of course I was uncomfortable, but I didn't want anything to jeopardize me starting what I hoped was the start of my career in higher education.
My poor self-concept and struggles with anxiety and depression definitely made for a rough adolescence and young adulthood. I'd like to think these early surgeries helped get me on a better path of self-acceptance. Without this confidence, I probably wouldn't have been able to sustain a relationship with Steve nor would I have been able to develop a career in student affairs.
Steve and I were married on May 30, 1998 and moved to Jacksonville, Florida in July of that same year. We then moved to Gainesville in 2000. I think the distance from family and the climate change had a bigger impact on me than I really wanted to admit. Over time, I had both physical and emotional challenges. Luckily, I now knew how to ask for help and found good physicians to prescribe medications that made sense for my allergies, asthma, and anxiety (Triple A!). Unfortunately, my medical problems didn't subside, so I had my tonsils and adenoids removed in 2003. As an adult, it is rare for doctors to go this route and believe me, I wish I could have avoided it. Imagine eating sandpaper and it just gets stuck in your throat. There wasn't enough Popsicles in the world!
In October 2004, Steve moved to Nashua, NH and I stayed in Gainesville to prepare our house for sale, finish my degree, and start a whole new journey that was filled with unwelcome obstacles and answered prayers.
Be kind to yourself and please let Steve & your nearby friends help. We're alike in that we like to be in charge -- but I've learned what a gift it is to let others who love us have a role to play helping us. Blessings and courage. You've already had too many challenges, but I know you're a fighter and that you'll come out the other side of this new one, not only healthy but also stronger.
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