Past, Present, and Future

 

That's me, standing in the ever-familiar backyard pool with my sister circa 1975.  I turned 40 on December 28, 2013 and I'm adjusting to the belief that it's true.  I don't say that to sound cliche -- I am genuinely surprised that I'm alive and that my bouts with anxiety, depression and other illnesses didn't cost me my life.  Some days are more of a struggle than others and I try to laugh my way through marriage, parenthood, and arthritis.

My dad's father died when he was 14, my father died when I was 23 and for both justified and completely illogical reasons, I envisioned myself as someone with a short shelf-life.  My mother and my sister are the only immediate family members I have left - addiction and mental illness took most on my father's side and diseases like cancer took those on my mother's side.  I've often been told to write a book because I have many stories to tell.  That is flattering to hear, but of course, scary to even think about starting.  So, I decided to start this blog as a means to share some of my experiences, but, also "record" stories for my children because I don't want them to miss out on their family history, the good and the not so good.

I write this blog with the hopes that a new year will inspire me to write about the important moments and catalysts that helped me get to my 40th year and share the new stories that hopefully get me 40 more years.

Details of the Photo

For me, the best part of this picture is what is happening in the background.  My maternal grandfather, Ernest Stephenson Goodman, Sr. and our neighbor, Don Randol, who was like a godfather to us, are taking a break and talking about gardening.  Whenever my grandpa would visit, he would plant my parents' fruit and vegetable gardens for the season.  As I got older, I thought it was weird that he would come from West Virginia for "vacation" and work the whole time.  My maternal grandmother, "granny", would bake a different pie for each family member while we were at work and school.  My mother's family had a work ethic that was indescribable and it certainly is challenging to take the time necessary to develop those values within our 5-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter.